Vurk

Vurk, originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

Work is a lot like death, it just lasts longer.

How much longer? As far as I can tell it may not even be measurable. I've tried doing the numbers on it twice now and then it hit me that THAT was work! It gets you coming and going people.

Someday when I'm living naked on my island with a freshwater spring and a lemon tree I'll think back about work and let out one big, "HA!"

Then I'll probably go swimming.

In case you were wondering swimming is NOT work. In fact it is anti-work. One day swimming and hangin' at the beach can easily offset an entire week of work.

And don't even get me started on sailing! That stuff scares the icky junk right out of work.

Did I mention it's 18 degrees out currently? Because it is, and that makes the above activities difficult, and that gives work an edge.

Not good.

Which brings me back to the island idea. I think it's a rather good idea. Except for the naked part. I don't know if I could really do that. But it doesn't hinge on that anyway.

I have seen him.

I have seen him., originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

So, I'm minding my own business cruising down the highway when all of a sudden who comes by me but The Man!

I was stunned.

After all this time being under The Man's thumb I never thought I'd actually see him. How did I know it was him? Well, being The Man, he has a vanity plate stating just that.

THE MAN

I'll be honest, I didn't expect him to be driving a Volkswagen. But it was a pretty pimped out one and fast enough that it was all I could do to nab the terrible picture above.

I know. It's hard to make out the license plate in the shot. If I had all the spy technology that The Man does I'd have cleaned it up for you. But I don't. Something I'm sure The Man was counting on. But click on that thing, go to my flickr account (clearly an anti-Man establishment) and click "All Sizes" and if you look closely enough you'll see the evidence.

Of course you can imagine it's not true. That the picture is too blurry to truly make out. But that's what The Man would WANT you to think! Nay to that I say.

Plus how would you then explain Lefty and Fenway!? Clearly henchmen for The Man sent to try to determine if I was a true threat to his cushy world that he keeps us down from. Coincidence you say? Not likely! Two vans ALSO WITH VANITY PLATES spotted just minutes after my encounter with The Man is anything but coincidence. ESPECIALLY when they have henchmen-like names.

The average person might have missed this entire encounter and ensuing scenario, but fortunately I am ever vigil in my search for The Man. We shall meet again my inimigo. We shall meet again.

This means something.

This means something., originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

Today is boring. Like, really REALLY boring. So boring in fact that it made me notice that there are two exit signs in the hallway where I work.

Why two? Well, I don't know. Let's guess:

Idea #1: People who are disoriented and seeing double will actually resolve the two signs visually as one clear sign, thus allowing them to exit safely. I rate this as slightly likely.

Idea #2: They were on sale.

Idea #3: Hmm...I'm starting to run dry here.

Random Fact: The hallway here that is maybe 60ft long and U-shaped has FIVE exit signs in total. This is odd because there are, in point of fact, only two distinct exits.

Idea #3.5: An exit sign from a parallel dimension is somehow also present in this dimension. Based on the crazy stuff that happens here I would rate that as very likely.

Idea #4: Monkeys.

There. I think that's a good go at it. How good? Well, not THAT good but what do you expect? I mean this boredom is actually starting to cause me physical pain. No lie.

Anyway, what do you think?

The People I Know Are The Best

The People I Know Are The Best, originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

So Alycia says to Zack and I, "I'm going to make something to eat but it's probably not going to be any good."

Then we come out to this.

Alycia, babe, I think you need to have a little more confidence in your abilities, because that meal was pretty darn fantastic.

Sauteed shrimp and cherry tomatoes on a bed of roasted potatoes with a lentil soup on the side and yes, it's perfectly normal for your mouth to be watering at this point folks.

Good eats people. Good eats.

Dogs Make Me Happy Because They're Happy

Dogs Make Me Happy Because They're Happy, originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

What other animal/person/robot enjoys driving around as much as a dog? There is no peer to them in this field. They own it.

Which is why when I saw this particular canine TOTALLY FREAKING OUT about riding around with his head out the window it made me very happy. So happy in fact that I was suddenly DESPERATE to get a quick shot of him, and there it is.

Enjoy your ride little guy. You definitely made me enjoy mine.

More Pirate Booty

More Pirate Booty, originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

Captain Beka and myself ruled the high seas and came home with the title of Dread Pirate.

It was, without a doubt, quite a victory.

Pirate Booty

Pirate Booty, originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

This is the cake Ian constructed for the dread pirates. As you can clearly see it was pretty fantastic.

I use the word "was" because sadly, for the cake, it ceased to exist shortly after it came into existence. For the cake killers though, it was a time of great pleasure.

It's all about honesty...

It's all about honesty..., originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

I love it when I see people really putting themselves out there. I mean, why not? It's better that people know what they're getting themselves into. That way when something inevitably goes wrong nobody is surprised. Instead they're just like, "Oh yeah, that's right, you have issues."

If instead they act all surprised then you can just run over them with your gigantic truck at that point. Fair warning is fair warning in my book.

I don't think so.

I don't think so., originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

The other evening I had the great privilege of spending some time with my friends at a local eatery. While perusing the menu I happened upon the above entry.

It confused me.

"Vegetary?" I wondered. What exactly is "vegetary" supposed to mean? I had some ideas that I thought might work right up until I saw the word following it. "Vegetary chicken?"

Hmm...No clue.

I'm sorry, but if you're using a word that doesn't even have a wiki entry then you need to think twice about it. As far as I'm concerned if it's not in wikipedia then it doesn't really exist. Either that or it's just stupid, or maybe both. Probably both.

Interesting Signs

Interesting Signs, originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

So, I saw this sign in the grocery store parking lot and I really don't know what to make of it. I mean it's a pretty odd sign. As much as I'd like to meet the person who made it I'm even more interested in meeting the person who thinks it applies to them. At the time nobody had taken the plunge and parked there. So either the sign is a complete failure or it's actually working perfectly. All I know is it's a prime spot, and next time, I'm parking there.