Vurk

Vurk, originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

Work is a lot like death, it just lasts longer.

How much longer? As far as I can tell it may not even be measurable. I've tried doing the numbers on it twice now and then it hit me that THAT was work! It gets you coming and going people.

Someday when I'm living naked on my island with a freshwater spring and a lemon tree I'll think back about work and let out one big, "HA!"

Then I'll probably go swimming.

In case you were wondering swimming is NOT work. In fact it is anti-work. One day swimming and hangin' at the beach can easily offset an entire week of work.

And don't even get me started on sailing! That stuff scares the icky junk right out of work.

Did I mention it's 18 degrees out currently? Because it is, and that makes the above activities difficult, and that gives work an edge.

Not good.

Which brings me back to the island idea. I think it's a rather good idea. Except for the naked part. I don't know if I could really do that. But it doesn't hinge on that anyway.

I have seen him.

I have seen him., originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

So, I'm minding my own business cruising down the highway when all of a sudden who comes by me but The Man!

I was stunned.

After all this time being under The Man's thumb I never thought I'd actually see him. How did I know it was him? Well, being The Man, he has a vanity plate stating just that.

THE MAN

I'll be honest, I didn't expect him to be driving a Volkswagen. But it was a pretty pimped out one and fast enough that it was all I could do to nab the terrible picture above.

I know. It's hard to make out the license plate in the shot. If I had all the spy technology that The Man does I'd have cleaned it up for you. But I don't. Something I'm sure The Man was counting on. But click on that thing, go to my flickr account (clearly an anti-Man establishment) and click "All Sizes" and if you look closely enough you'll see the evidence.

Of course you can imagine it's not true. That the picture is too blurry to truly make out. But that's what The Man would WANT you to think! Nay to that I say.

Plus how would you then explain Lefty and Fenway!? Clearly henchmen for The Man sent to try to determine if I was a true threat to his cushy world that he keeps us down from. Coincidence you say? Not likely! Two vans ALSO WITH VANITY PLATES spotted just minutes after my encounter with The Man is anything but coincidence. ESPECIALLY when they have henchmen-like names.

The average person might have missed this entire encounter and ensuing scenario, but fortunately I am ever vigil in my search for The Man. We shall meet again my inimigo. We shall meet again.

This means something.

This means something., originally uploaded by JakeEbel.

Today is boring. Like, really REALLY boring. So boring in fact that it made me notice that there are two exit signs in the hallway where I work.

Why two? Well, I don't know. Let's guess:

Idea #1: People who are disoriented and seeing double will actually resolve the two signs visually as one clear sign, thus allowing them to exit safely. I rate this as slightly likely.

Idea #2: They were on sale.

Idea #3: Hmm...I'm starting to run dry here.

Random Fact: The hallway here that is maybe 60ft long and U-shaped has FIVE exit signs in total. This is odd because there are, in point of fact, only two distinct exits.

Idea #3.5: An exit sign from a parallel dimension is somehow also present in this dimension. Based on the crazy stuff that happens here I would rate that as very likely.

Idea #4: Monkeys.

There. I think that's a good go at it. How good? Well, not THAT good but what do you expect? I mean this boredom is actually starting to cause me physical pain. No lie.

Anyway, what do you think?